Title/Author:
“Playing Hurt: My Journey From
Despair to Hope” by John Saunders
with John U. Bacon
Tags:
Sports Broadcasting, ice hockey, memoir, behavioral health
Publish date:
August 8, 2017
Length:
328 pages
Rating:
5 of 5 stars (outstanding)
Review:
This is not a typical
memoir of a sports figure. In the very beginning, John Saunders talks about his
thoughts of suicide by describing a trip across New York’s Tappan Zee Bridge
across the Hudson River. From there, he
opens up about the demons that he lived with while battling depression through
his entire life until his death in 2016.
This memoir written with John U. Bacon is raw, soul-bearing and a book
that a reader will have a hard time putting down.
Saunders was an
award-winning broadcaster, best known for his work on the ESPN show “The Sports
Reporters.” He also covered college
football and basketball as well as hockey for the network. The native Canadian was a good hockey player
in his youth, eventually playing college hockey in the United States. When an injury and lack of commitment to the
game made him realize he had to do something else for a career, he turned to
broadcasting and worked in smaller Canadian cities, Toronto and then Baltimore before
ESPN.
Through all of this,
Saunders was constantly filled with self-doubt and depression. In the book, he talks of the physical abuse
he endured from his father and the sexual abuse from a female friend of his
parents. He talks of his hurting himself
by burning, his troubles with intimacy that resulted in a failed marriage and
the constant doubt he had in both his hockey and broadcasting career. He eventually righted himself to have a good
career and a loving marriage with two daughters, but even then he battled
demons. If he wasn’t doubting himself
about being a good father, he sank into depression after reading social media
postings criticizing his work. All of
this on top of a serious concussion when he blacked out doing a college football
show makes his story even more amazing.
What made this book a
very gripping read was not only the rawness of this story, but how much he
realizes what is happening and yet he feels powerless to control it. He has great respect for the doctors who helped
him and much love for not only his wife and daughters but also for his
colleagues who showed their support for him as well. It is a powerful work that shows how mental
health issues can be hidden from the outside world but can deeply affect the
people who are suffering. When Saunders
shared his time spent in the psychiatric wing of a hospital and two other patients
with whom he formed friendships, it was such a moving message illustrating how
people who are suffering share a common bond.
This is a book that
must be read – not only to learn more about depression and what it can do, but
also to gain an understanding of the man whom many spent each Sunday morning
listening to in order to catch up on the sports news. I was always a fan of The
Sports Reporters and Saunders, but now I have an even more deep respect for
what he did and the legacy he left behind.
I wish to thank Da Capo Press for providing a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.
Book Format Read:
Paperback
Buying Links: